MMM #5: The Dark Side of Man
Society expects our men to be strong, self-reliant, powerful, confident, and capable. But, what happens when a man does NOT feel this way? This week, I dive into the dark side of masculinity: what does it look like, where does it come from, and what can we do to rise above it?
What are the expectations that society puts on men?
- Men must be STRONG (Physically, emotionally, mentally)
- Self-relaint and independent
- Successful, “in charge”, POWERFUL
- Confident, unyielding, capable
- Social expectations lead men to deny their truth (if I hide behind this mask, I will be safe and belong)
- Prolonged suppression of one’s truth, not being seen/listened/heard for how a man TRULY is leads to anger, frustration, and ultimately a breakdown
What are the roots of the “DARK” sides of masculinity?
- Our failure to witness our men and let them feel supported and accepted for who they are
- Filling the VOID with toxic expressions of masculinity
What does the DARK side of man look like?
- Egoic and self-referenced – Men have BIG egos that we either learn how to keep in check or seek to FEED
- Failing to take responsibility, blaming others (VICTIM)
- Painful, tormented side of masculinity that most people don’t get to see (WOUNDED BOY)
- War, violence
- Abuse, neglect
- Selfish behaviors – thinking about myself first before serving others
Taming our egos and rising above the temptations of the DARK SIDE, and returning to being of service to others
- Where does the “dark side” of masculinity show up in your life? (i.e. big ego, wanting to look good, electing yourself above others, etc.)
- Call a man, message a man and have a conversation about how this shows up for you. Invite that man to examine this question for himself. No judgment, just listening.