MMM #16: Emotions and Manliness
Every man experiences emotions that make him uncomfortable – it could be anything from inadequacy to sadness to rage. Admitting to having these emotions, let alone sharing them, can make us feel weak and less manly. These emotions will stick around and block us until we fully EXPRESS and OWN them. Finding a team of men to support and allow this type of energy release is a vital step to emotional mastery.
- Can I have these emotions and be a man?
- Is it okay to share this emotion with my partner? Another man?
- Every human experiences the full range of emotions
- If we don’t fully express and acknowledge each emotion that arises, they become trapped in our body.
- Mastery is identifying emotions as they arise, and choosing our actions from a grounded place.
- Myth #1: Men are weak to have emotions and breakdowns
- Natural, unavoidable part of life
- It takes courage to experience and lean into the field of emotions
- Myth #2: Men should share all their emotions with their partner.
- We should share the process from a grounded place, and leave the messy parts for an objective partner like a men’s group.
- No matter how impartial your partner claims to be, or how much of the work they’ve done, they are not neutral and your process will trigger them.
- Every man will find his own balance with this
- No man is always going to be a ROCK for his partner, friends, community. At some point in time, we will all be emotionally wobbly. Admitting that, and leaning into it, strengthens the ROCK.
- Take inventory and reflect on the previous times you have shared emotions with another person or group. Did this deepen the intimacy or create a rift?
- Close your eyes and meditate on what unprocessed emotions are within you. What is unresolved, takes over your thoughts, dominates the focus of your days?
- Next step is to find a trustworthy person in your life and share it with them.
- The listener will listen deeply and reflect back observations, but they are not trying to fix anything. They shed light and lead with curiosity.
- Share with the men in the Facebook group or send Jeddy a message
- This type of leaning in and authentic sharing is exactly the type of work we do in Elements, in the monthly fire circle chats, and in coaching with Jeddy.