MMM 35 - The Shame Spiral
Focusing on shame and our mistakes often begins a downward spiral, as what we focus on grows. Take responsibility for whatever happened, then bring your attention to what you are living INTO, not what you are living OUT OF. When we are on fire and 100% aligned with our mission and purpose, that old embarrassing memory will fade into mental obscurity.
- Have you ever felt ashamed, embarrassed, or any other type of discomfort around choices you’ve made in the past?
- We all have ‘em – decisions we made that, in retrospect, we would have done differently
- Problem is, it can be easy to get caught up in the shame spiral of past choices and actions that we CAN NEVER GET BACK
- So what’s the point? Logic suggests that everything we do in life has a purpose, INCLUDING things that don’t serve us
- For example, eating unhealthy food when we “know better”, staying in a relationship we KNOW doesn’t serve us anymore
- So, that begs the question…Why make these decisions if they DON’T serve us?
- Ask yourself this, what BENEFIT am I getting from being in this process? What am I able to hide out from? What am I able to avoid or postpone by swirling in my own sorrows?
- Everyone will answer these questions differently, BUT if we can be honest with ourselves, we may get some very valuable information about why we choose to put our attention here
- We can ONLY experience shame, regret, and embarrassment about things that have ALREADY HAPPENED (i.e. our past)
- None of us experience shame about a future that hasn’t happened yet
- Thus, when we are stuck in a shame spiral, our attention is directed predominantly on our past and events, decisions, and actions we can do NOTHING ABOUT
- Commit to a practice of catching yourself in shame, regret, etc., whatever that is for you
- When you catch it, CHOOSE to direct your attention back to your FUTURE – what are you excited to build? What are you living INTO instead of living OUT OF?
- Double down your energy and efforts into that which helps you become the man you’ve always wanted to be, instead of the man you never want to be again.