MMM 30 – Porn: The BIGGER Picture

Pornography might seem harmless and normal, but when we learn about sex from porn, it can skew our relationship with women. Jeddy offers a deeper look into the effects of porn on men, male sexuality/intimacy, and how this affects women feeling safe in the world. Remove the shame, get support from the Rising Man community, and RISE ABOVE your base desires!

Key Takeaways and Action Step:

Let’s start with what we know about Porn and its impact:

• First encounter for boys in U.S. at age 8 (average)
• Habitual viewing and accessing of porn for boys by age 11 (average)
• Fundamentally impacts our beliefs about sexuality and sexual practices
• Objectification of women (discovering intimacy from behind a screen)
• Failure to develop courting skills
• Destroys the willpower and drive of men from a young age (robbing us of the BIGGEST win we can have as men)

HOW did we get here?

• Young people starving for information and direction on sexuality.
• A generation of parents who, in majority, avoided the topic of sexuality and intimacy with their children out of their own discomforts or fears that it would create increased sexual activity/promiscuity
• The irresistible biological itch that needed to be scratched – porn provided a portal for young people to witness and learn about sex…but what has it taught them?
• A big dick is desirable, and the ONLY thing that can “really” pleasure a woman
• Sex is meant to be hardcore, rough, and all about the result (i.e. orgasm)
• There is not much courtship or romancing necessary before sex (ever hear a woman complain about not enough foreplay or romance before sex starts?)
  What’s POSSIBLE…
• Creating an open dialogue about sexuality and REAL romance/intimacy with young people.
• Demonstrating love and intimacy in our relationships in front of young people, so they can witness and learn to appreciate the full spectrum of love
• Shifting the culture away from a rough and aggressive version of sex into one of connection, honoring, and mutual pleasure 

TAKE ACTION:

• Commit to NO pornography for 90 days (*Bonus for no masturbation as well) – don’t worry, you WILL survive. I once did this for 9 months.
• Delete the apps, erase the videos, and block the websites
• Notice when you feel the urge to watch porn
     * What triggered the urge?
     * What were you doing when it came on?
     * What were you looking to avoid by going to watch porn and jerk off?
  * Find new avenues for releasing stress and expelling the energy normally spent on porn and masturbation