Episode 38: The Total Gift Perspective with Robert Kandell

Today, in the “Me Too” age, many men feel attacked and are unwilling to take responsibility for their past actions and those of other men. Author, speaker, and podcast host Robert Kandell advocates for us to use this time as an opportunity to be present, honest, and hold space for the feminine to express. In all areas of our lives, we can choose to perceive challenges and triggering moments as a total gift.



  • The seductive nature of victim mentality – attention, empathy, and validation
  • The perils of the “why me” mindset – you can’t see, learn, or improve in that state
  • Why we should strive to be the villain in our story
  • Differences between masculine and feminine energies
  • How we shift between the polarities depending on the circumstance
  • Mastery is knowing when to tap into which energy
  • The historical shift that the masculine underwent in the 60’s and 70’s
  • Pathways were created for women empowerment – equal rights, pay, etc.
  • There was no such reciprocal pathway created for men to lean into feminine side
  • “Self esteem is built upon esteemable acts” – forging confidence by setting ourselves up to win
  • Viewing external validation as the cherry on top, rather than being dependent on it
  • Learning how to hold space for women as they express anger and frustration
  • Perceiving the triggering moments as a total gift, as they show what areas need to be healed.
  • Robert’s life changing moment that took place at a sex workshop in a basement
  • Why presence is the most attractive thing to a woman
  • How talking about these topics lights a signal fire for men to open up about difficult topics.
  • Check out Robert’s new book, “Unhidden: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them” It contains practices and wisdom to get you from A to B, wherever that is for you.

Visit RobertKandell.com for all things Robert.  Connect, purchase his book, listen to the podcast, and find his social media handles, including his free facebook group.  

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