MMM #5: The Dark Side of Man
Society expects our men to be strong, self-reliant, powerful, confident, and capable. But, what happens when a man does NOT feel this way? This week, I dive into the dark side of masculinity: what does it look like, where does it come from, and what can we do to rise above it?
Synopsis:
What are the expectations that society puts on men?
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Men must be STRONG (Physically, emotionally, mentally)
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Self-relaint and independent
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Successful, “in charge”, POWERFUL
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Confident, unyielding, capable
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Social expectations lead men to deny their truth (if I hide behind this mask, I will be safe and belong)
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Prolonged suppression of one’s truth, not being seen/listened/heard for how a man TRULY is leads to anger, frustration, and ultimately a breakdown
What are the roots of the “DARK” sides of masculinity?
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Our failure to witness our men and let them feel supported and accepted for who they are
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Filling the VOID with toxic expressions of masculinity
What does the DARK side of man look like?
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Egoic and self-referenced – Men have BIG egos that we either learn how to keep in check or seek to FEED
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Failing to take responsibility, blaming others (VICTIM)
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Painful, tormented side of masculinity that most people don’t get to see (WOUNDED BOY)
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War, violence
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Abuse, neglect
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Selfish behaviors – thinking about myself first before serving others
Taming our egos and rising above the temptations of the DARK SIDE, and returning to being of service to others
TAKE ACTION:
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Where does the “dark side” of masculinity show up in your life? (i.e. big ego, wanting to look good, electing yourself above others, etc.)
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Call a man, message a man and have a conversation about how this shows up for you. Invite that man to examine this question for himself. No judgment, just listening.